Lost

Lately I’ve been feeling tremendously lost.

My anxieties have been so bad the last two days I’ve been so sick. I have so many worries and so much stress it is tearing me up emotionally and physically.

Yesterday, someone who is important to me, tore me up verbally. They blatantly disregard that I’m a human being with feelings. They said some very hurtful things, some I will never forget. They don’t understand me at all. I just want to be accepted for who I am, not ridiculed because I don’t live up to their expectations of perfection. I can only be me and if I’m not good enough, really I don’t know what to say. Everything they said was just aiming to hurt me.. and they succeeded. I’m too old for this garbage. I don’t even know how to proceed with the situation.

I’ve been through so much in this life. There is so much I still am dealing with. All I wish is for the next handful of years to be better than the last handful of years. Not amazing, not outstanding, not awesome.. just better. That’s all. Is that too much to ask?

I hurt and worry.

Silence is comforting.

Music and silence.

  

“It’s hard to tell who has your back, from who has it long enough just to stab you in it….”
~Nicole Richie

 

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