Dear Mr. Spider,
I think you need to understand that “hiding” on a white surface is not very stealthy. In fact, you are quite noticeable in that “hiding” place. You do realize the color differences, right?
I have been giving swimming lessons in the toilet to spiders lately, and you must have wanted a lesson. All lessons are free to all the local Mr. Spiders.
I presume in the sewer you have joined The Others in a very large meeting hall of spiders that I have taught to swim. I imagine you all have formed the Organization of Swimming Spiders and probably even have your own theme song by now.
I hope that I move out of this place before you and The Others in the Organization of Swimming Spiders finishes plotting their revenge against me.
Surely we can keep living in a somewhat peaceful situation. Perhaps we can discuss some negotiation plans later?
However, you should avoid white surfaces. I am only being nice by giving this advice.
PS: I have noticed the web behind my desk is getting ever larger even though I clear it quite often. Don’t think I don’t notice.
[Some background on the Dear Mr. Spider stories: On facebook I started writing my adventures with spiders in a humorous format in 2012 because I really do not like spiders and they seem to like me. I have decided to include those adventures here on this blog. There will be some I have written and shared with close friends in the past, as well as some new stories. The stories surrounding Mr. Spider are entirely based on real events that have happened to me personally. I do hope you enjoy them!]