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[Kokuma]

My last granparent, mother's mother, passed away in Friday at age 85.

This wasn't so unexcpectable as she had been in hospice since last year's August and was already in really worse condition last Fall cause of this stomach infection. We didn't expect her to see Christmas 2005. She managed to hang on almost year longer. Just her way, she was really persistent person. With positive way.

Mum called me in Friday afternoon, just after I had came home from college, and told me that granma's condition has turn critical oll of a sudden. I've promised her over an year ago that I'll come to be her side when this happens, so I jumped into my car and drove 3 hours to another province where mum and granma live.

As it was race against time, I sent prayer up there that granma's able to carry on until I arrive there so I'll get to see her alive. I was there at 6 PM and she was still half concious, and looked straight to my eyes when I hold her hand and talked to her. Mum had been with her since the time she called me, and told that granma had spasmodic fits while I was driving there, but they were already gone the time I arrived.
After she had seen my face she turned more calm and peaceful, according to mum. Kinda like let loose. I am positive she was waiting to see me as mum had told her I'm on my way there.

We chose to not left her side cause we knew the end is not very far at that point. We were prepared to spend night there in hospice, but she passed away really peacefully and serene couple of hours later with my mum holding her hand and me standing there next to her.

We, me and mum are not actually sad as we knew already over an year ago that this day will come sooner or later. We are just happy that she don't have to lay there on hospital bed anymore with not ability to walk, or talk or even eat by herself.
Of course we miss her really much, but tears have not come yet. Perhaps they come after funeral when, like, the whole things is put into end. Usually it goes like that.
I feel just empty by now.

I wrote this cause I wanted to say that I'll be much away from the board until the week before Christmas as funeral is going to held in Sunday 17th day and I have more spare time after that.

[Elana]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Kokuma. My heart goes out to you.

I also feel priviledged that you shared this story with us.

We're all supporting you!

[Mimitchi]

I know no words can help you or your family feel any better. But as Elana said, we are here and supporting you. You and your family are in our thoughts. *hugs*

[turtleman534]

im very sorry. she sounds like she was a great lady. that really was a great story.  im sure she was very thankful you were there.

as they  have said. we are all supporting you

[alicetwasbrillig]

*Hugs*

^_^ I'm sure she'd want you to keep being happy ^_^

[Bojko]

It sounds like she passed away very happily, with loved ones by her side. Tears may come, but so do happy memories.

Take care throughout this month, we'll all be here.

[Kokuma]

You are so kind people. And I knew that in common, as if I hadn't came to read this topic in long time, I'd knew that you are going to post wishes and good thoughts.

Lots of memories have popped up, even ones that I have forgotten. Mostly from childhood as granma took care of me when dad was working in farm and mum did three-shift work in hospital, and many of my early memories relate to this granma, what kind of games we played, how I help her in garden. All kinds of good memories.

When a person dies, the ones around him/her who stay here in this big ball of dirt just have to carry on. Wake up every day, do things like they have done before. Put foot ahead another and walk forward. That's what I'm doing and it gets easier every day.

Thank you, friends. You are so kind.